we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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