At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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