I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I need moral support for this bender
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
