this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
