Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Randomize
