Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize