if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
is wine microwaveable?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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