yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
