didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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