oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
