At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
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