Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
