i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm passing your future prison.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She told me I should be a condom model.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
