so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
