but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
