so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
