just come out here and I will go home with you...
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
