Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
