But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
