my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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