I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
