I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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