we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
