Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
