Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Someone came in the potted fern
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
