i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
