I don't think brook has ever known best
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
