just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
