Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
