She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
