I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
