marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize