He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
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One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
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My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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