it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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