Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
