I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
