problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
