my vag is so smooth its legendary
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize