The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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