also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm just crazy horny about you
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
