god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
