Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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