Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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