I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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