bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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