she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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