Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
