Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful