Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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