I think im going to throw up on grandma
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?