i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome