Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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