Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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