Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
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Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
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Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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