seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
