D3 body, D1 cock
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
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