I'm really into asian looking animals
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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