just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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