OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize
