No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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