i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
