i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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