did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
