So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
