He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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