I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO