i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.