There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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