Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
