also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
