in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
It's just like the Real World with babies
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize