yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
