My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
