Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
