I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
