come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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