I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
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