Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
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I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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