Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
